Wednesday, 27 August 2014

At the start

I feel like this day should be more momentous. Tomorrow you start school; for the next 13 years, God willing, you will be a schoolchild. This is our last day together without a time limit hanging over us. There'll be holidays, of course, but our normal will be school, five days a week.
I hope we've chosen well. Your school seems like an environment where you'll thrive. Your EYFS teacher is exactly what I'd choose if I got to design her just for you. This is the start of a long relationship; unless we move, Anna and Samuel will go through this school too. It's reassuring that the other parents are all so positive about their experience of the school.
If I'm honest, I'm worried about how it will go. I know you're excited and you're looking forward to it. I know you'll walk into the room confidently and enjoy your first days with your class. But you're a 4 year old boy and you're impatient, energetic and impulsive. I want other people to see the kind, clever, independent boy I love so much.

I hope we've loved you enough in the last four years to help you stand firm in the sea you're about to enter. The waves of culture and peer pressure are strong ones and there are hidden currents that can knock you off your feet.

Until now, I've stood between you and the world but tomorrow you're starting a journey of your own. I will be a cheerleader and a coach but it's your life to live. I've said it before, parenthood is a journey in the direction of apart. My main purpose is to enable you to live a life that's more and more independent from my own. I can't fight your battles for you, I just have to trust the One who's always watching over you.

And isn't that what we've always been doing? God gave you to us to be our firstborn, much beloved son. For all the love and care we offer, there's always been a gap we can't fill. My mum repeats an old saying; "you do your best and God does the rest".

Every now and again I catch glimpses of the man you might become. He's strong and independent, kind and loving, funny and sweet. I love you so much, my baby boy. You made me a mother and you make me a better person day-by-day. I'm more patient, more forgiving, more joyful because I have you. I know you're going to have fun tomorrow, I know you're going to fly. It seems like an age since you were my baby, it seems like no time at all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No comments: