Negativity

I seem to spend a lot of my time saying "no!" these days.  It comes from having a 3-year-old and nearly 2-year-old in the house.  Some days it seems like all that comes out of my mouth is negative.

"Don't do that!"
"How many times do I have to tell you?"
"What did I just say?!"
"Am I talking to myself?"

That last one is my favourite.  I sound like my mother (sorry Mum!)  It's that old chestnut, all the things you promised you'd never say to your own children because it drove you up the wall when you were young.

When Isaac was a baby, I read something that has stuck with me ever since.  My mum has commented on it a couple of times.  And it really makes a difference to how I feel about my children and about myself.

Catch them doing something good.

It's easy to let them get on with it when they're eating their dinner nicely.  And so easy to get on their case when they're climbing the tv shelf again.  Or brushing their teeth independently, smearing toothpaste all over the bathroom.  Or playing hide & seek under the table instead of eating their dinner.  (All examples just from today.  Just so you know.)

But then I sound like a nag.  And I start to get frustrated with myself and with them.  Why do I have to say the same things over and over?  Why do they seem to do things designed to wind me up?  Why can't I be more gentle and patient with them?

So I make a conscious effort to find them doing something positive.  And then tell them about it.  "You're doing great eating tonight."  "What good sharing you're doing!"  "You're such a great big brother, that was a really kind thing to do."  And after a while, it became a habit.  I think it makes us all feel better.  The more you draw attention to something, the more that's what you see.  So if all I do is comment on the negative, I leave the day with a negative impression of it.  When actually, the day has been average (in most cases) and the children are just that: children.  They don't do it on purpose, they're learning.  They try to please me and to get my attention and if I don't give it to them in positive ways, they'll settle for the negative.  And I feel less like a harpy and more like a mum who enjoys her children.  Good things all round.

On October 3rd

He:


1. Is loving preschool. So much. But can never remember enough to tell us about it.
2. Is really into dragons, dinosaurs & pirates these days.
3. Throws the most annoying tantrums these days and refuses to do as he's asked. We're using the naughty step technique to great effect.
4. Is getting really good at telling stories, whether it's the dream he just had or a made-up dinosaur adventure.
5. Can think about the future though he's still a bit fuzzy on when things happened in the past.

She:


1. Has the most wonderful hair these days, with proper curls and now it's long enough to tick behind her ears, she can actually see where she's going.
2. Loves her blankie with a never-ending passion. Seriously, it goes everywhere with her.
3. Eats anything & everything that'll sit still long enough.
4. Sings. She does a fantastic Twinkle Twinkle before bed and a brilliant rendition of Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes.
5. Shouts "Dog" loudly every time she sees one. And sometimes when she doesn't. It's confusing.

This one:


1. Is growing nicely.
2. Has developed corners & edges. I can feel actual body parts now instead of just blobs.
3. Has stopped sapping all my energy so I'm actually getting something done for a change.
4. Likes to boogie when I'm resting.
5. Really has to be here early. But not on Christmas Day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

On documenting my pregnancy

I had an Anne Geddes pregnancy journal with each of my first two children.  I haven't filled in all of either of them but it's nice to have some thoughts and memories written down for the future.  And to keep the different pregnancies clear in my mind!  With Isaac, we also took a belly photo every week from about 20 weeks onwards but I still haven't done anything with them yet!  A friend of mine had The Belly Book by Amy Krouse Rosenthal for her pregnancy and it seemed a great choice for my next time round.

There's a page for each week (up to 39 weeks so this baby better not be late!) with a little bit of writing and a space for a belly photo.  So I'm taking photos with my phone (almost every week) and printing them at home to stick right in.  It's fun seeing how my belly shot out so quickly and has kept growing since.

There are also pages for food cravings and aversions, scans, midwife/hospital visits, maternity clothing and lots more.  The book is split in to trimesters and has a longer writing space at the end of each one to record your thoughts and feelings.  And of course, there's a labour and delivery section at the end with space for baby's vital statistics and first photo.

On going with your first choice

I've not done much scrapbooking in the last few months.  There's currently a six week gap in my Project Life album with a couple of missing weeks since.  And I hadn't made a 12x12 page in ages until a couple of weeks ago.  It felt really awkward getting back into things, like my stash just wouldn't go together in my head or on the page.  I made a half-finished page, which is still waiting for a title, journalling and embellishment.  The second page, I used a sketch having watched some scrapbooking videos for ideas.  It helped to have some recent photos with a story that I love to tell.

I had some time to spare and a little bit of new stash that arrived this week so I decided to just go with it and not overanalyse my decisions.  I chose some photos from Anna's first birthday that would go nicely with the Hello Again collection pack from Carta Bella.  And I tried to go with my first decisions; if I found something that looked good, I didn't keep looking, I just used that.  Even if there might have been a 'better' choice hiding in there somewhere.

I enjoyed the process actually and it definitely sped things up.  My biggest problem is letting go of my perfectionism and making something that's good enough.

 I added some Studio Calico wood veneer hearts, flowers and enamel dots from my stash & freebie ribbons from A Trip Down Memory Lane when I bought the collection pack.  The centres of the flowers did give me a little trouble - I had a grey enamel dot in the middle of the pale blue flower but it really didn't look right.  The only navy button in my jar had a design on the front so I turned it over and added some twine to make it work.

The title is some really old Sassafrass letters and some newer October Afternoon little tiles.  I put them a bit higher up initially but changed my mind when I couldn't think of anything to fit the gap next to the bigger letters.  So I added another piece of paper and put the OA stickers on top.

The other thing I didn't do was try to save things for another page, like rationing!  I love the stickers in the collection pack and they really fit the sentiment of the page.  Better to have things on a page where you can see them than in a bag, under the desk!  And I think it turned out well for a quick and easy page.

On keeping it real

***This is one in a series of posts about our switch from disposables to cloth nappies.  You can read the others here***

So we've talked about the rationale and we've talked about the cuteness, here's the real dirt; our experience over the last month or so.

The biggest differences I've noticed are an increase in the number of washloads I do each week and a decrease in the amount of rubbish accumulating the bin in the nursery.

I'm washing nappies every other day, mostly in the evenings.  Everything goes in together for a cold rinse and then I separate the load into two parts.  I wash nappies, boosters and liners at 60 deg and wraps & wet bags at 40 deg (I'm not convinced the higher temperature is good for them and they don't need as much cleaning as the nappies).  Initially I was washing everything at 40 deg but Anna started to get a bit sore & smelly so I upped the temperature and things have been fine since.  Usually everything gets dried on an airer in our kitchen but a couple of times, I've timed things wrong and had to tumble-dry things to have them ready in time. (I'm not using that much more detergent because each load uses less than half the normal amount for a wash.  I have bought some colour catcher sheets so I can wash everything together.)

I haven't noticed any difference in the condition of Anna's skin either from closer contact with detergent-washed fabrics or urine.  Her skin is slightly damp in the mornings but otherwise, pretty much the same as with disposables.  I think the fleece liners I'm using are responsible for that.  The other little trick is putting the most absorbant booster furthest away from the skin to wick the moisture outwards.

I've had a couple of small leaks, around the legs, and one major blow-out.  I guess when a cloth nappy goes, it really goes!  To be honest, I did exactly the same with a disposable the week before during our weekly supermarket shop.  And I knew I should have changed her before I put her in the car to go home!

You do need to be reasonably organised to use cloth nappies economically; washing every 2 days reduces the number of nappies you need to buy and it can be tricky to pick up extras or replacements quickly given that you can't pick them up in many bricks & mortar stores.  (That said, larger Boots stores have recently starting stocking some Tots Bots nappies and accessories at reasonable prices.)

We're having a few problems getting trousers that will fit over her bum.  Frugi make "cut for cloth" children's clothing but I haven't tried their range yet.  Anna's just going up a clothing size so at the moment, we're ok and leggings & tights have a lot more stretch to them.

And the last problem, is not confined to cloth nappies but was a real nightmare for about 2 weeks.  Anna has learned to take off her nappy.  She can do with with disposables too but she really likes the pop when she pulls the cloth ones open.  Every evening, after we put her to bed, she pulls the whole lot off and leaves it in a heap on the mattress.  We tried everything we could think of; explaining, cross words, smacking, pajamas, Isaac's pants over the top.... And someone very wise suggested back-to-front babygros!  Which is working (so far)!