On the 11th of April

If you've been reading this blog for the last couple of years, you'll understand that 1 day isn't that late for one of these posts!


It's funny to think that this time 3 months ago we didn't know whether we were having a boy or a girl. I was in early labour and Andy insisted that this time we'd be ready to leave for the hospital without a last minute panic.

It feels like this little man has been part of our family forever and yet also that he can't possibly be 3 months old already! I keep double-checking that I have all the children in the car before we leave; at some point I'm going to forget him, he's so quiet when he's sleeping!


You're still exclusively breast-feeding, even if I keep almost offering you food by mistake. I've had mastitis this month which was a pain but quickly sorted with antibiotics. You've just started looking around while you feed and you smile at me when you catch my eye. You're still really windy and quite sicky with it. I'm going through fewer muslin cloths each day though so it must be getting better! You still have nasty cradle cap though your hair hides it well.


You sleep really well but we have no pattern AT ALL so far. Occasionally you sleep through the night but usually you wake once or twice. Half past five is my least favourite feed-time because there isn't quite enough time to go back to sleep properly before we have to get started for the day. You tend to have one long nap and several short ones during the day. Some evenings you sleep, some you spend on the sofa with us. You will always sleep in your carseat or the sling if you're tired but resisting a nap. Like Anna, you often whinge to yourself before dropping off.


You tend to wake up and feed, have a nappy change, play then nap again. You cannot stand having a dirty nappy! You're mostly in cloth nappies but we've been really relaxed about using disposables when we need to. The only times you cry are when you're hungry, dirty or tired. Or if someone has just jumped on you.


You've found your hands lately & you chew them with gusto. You've started grabbing things and pulling them but more by luck than judgement. I've started giving you toys to hold and you lie on your mat, looking at the dangly things quite happily. You love to stand up and only need support for balance. You look really cute as your head bobbles around!


You suffer from third child syndrome and get left to your own devices a lot. It's lovely watching Isaac be a bigger big brother; he thinks you're fab and keeps bringing you things that he's made for you. Anna is so affectionate but she doesn't realise when she's being too rough.


You coo and gurgle and growl at us a lot. You like people and you smile at them readily. You love it when I sing to you and grin back at me! You seem captivated by the baby in the mirror but you won't smile at the mummy there with him!

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On Sunday 23rd February

Reading... Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard. He writes so concretely and practically about Christian spiritual formation. But his style is dense and complex requiring a lot of concentration and sometimes rereading of sentences, paragraphs or whole sections! There's a lot of thought-provoking stuff in this book. (For less brain-heavy reading, I keep turning to my Feedly to catch up with some blogs.)

Relishing... the 9 hours sleep I got last night, though not the crazy-making day that preceded it.

Watching... Dollhouse on lovefilm. Loved this series the first time around!

Feeling... tired, despite the aforementioned good night's sleep. My brain still isn't functioning brilliantly; I'm easily distracted & keep losing the thread of conversation halfway through a sentence, even if I'm the one speaking.

Thinking... how badly our living room floor needs vacuuming.

Folding... mountains of laundry. I laughed at my friend (with a 3 year old and 8 month old twins) who said her washing machine is on non-stop. Couldn't believe she needed to do that much washing. Now I know better; this baby vomits. And real nappies with two? Hard. Work.

Eating... far too many treats. I need the extra calories for breastfeeding but I'm falling into bad habits. It's good to be aware of your body's needs. It is not good to be stuffing your mouth all day and never feeling hungry.

Wishing... my body would snap back to a proper clothing size. Preferably a size 10 on top and bottom. (I have never been that size in my life!)

Buying... things for the children. New furniture, new clothes, food. I've turned into *that* woman. "I never buy anything for myself these days."

Speaking... the positives about life with three children. It's far too easy to whinge about lack of sleep and not mention the baby smiles, curly ponytails and snotty kisses that make life fantastic right now.

Looking forward... to my time tomorrow. The older two are still going to their childcare Monday to Wednesday. It saves my sanity. I occasionally feel guilty about driving away from my children to spend my day without them. That feeling is pretty much gone by the time I get home.

Loving... watching Isaac being a big brother again. Seriously, the best thing about having more children is watching them be siblings.

Hoping... our new neighbours get the noisy parts of their DIY done soon. They've taken on a big project but they've been really considerate about noise & inconvenience to us. Looking forward to them being able to move in & getting to know them a bit more.

Sitting... post-feed and listening to the rest of my family eating tea downstairs.

On January 11th

Apologies for my absence.  It's been a little busy round here.

Samuel Robert Longden Ingram

Born 11th January 2014 at 11:16pm

Weighing 8lb 14 1/2oz

He's beautiful, the children love him and I'm very tired.  But what else is new?!

Actually, things are pretty great right now.  I'm tired and busy but really enjoying my time with my littlest.  He's growing before our very eyes.  He sleeps, he feeds, what more can you ask for at this stage!  Normal service to be resumed at some point.

On being a supermum

There's a chap at our church who calls me Supermum.  He's married with grown children; he means it kindly, not creepily.  He admires the fact that I bring snacks and drinks and toys for my two to play with during the service.

I have some lovely friends who have, from time to time, also called me Supermum.  And again, they mean it as a positive.  A term of admiration and encouragement.

Can I let you into a little secret?  Well, two actually but they're inextricably linked.

1. I hate the word.  Hate it.  With a firey passion.  Well, at least with as much passion as I can summon for anything right now.

2. I'm not.  Not in that sense anyway.

I want to say right away that I love the people who use it.  They are good people, who see into my life and want to applaud me for what I'm doing.  We all need a cheerleading squad from time to time.  Even if you know what you're doing and why, there are still going to be hard times and moments of doubt when you need someone else's reassurance.

The problem I have is the separation.  The notion that 'she', whoever she happens to be that day, is Supermum or Superwoman.  She has something that sets her apart, something I don't have.  She is more than I am.  She is better than me.  It separates us when I think of her as 'Super' because the corollary is that I am ordinary (no capital letter for me).

The reality is that each one of us is an individual, creating our individual families in the best way we know how.  I am the only wife of my husband and the only mother to my children.  I was purpose designed to love and serve them at this time and in my own, unique way.  No one else can do precisely what I can do.  And the same goes for you.

I have some internet friends.  Even my husband finds this a bit weird but stick with me.  Somehow, over social media, having only ever met 3 of them in real life, I have managed to evolve a community of mutual support and reassurance.

One of them has just become a mummy for the second time.  She worries about doing the best for her boys.  What she doesn't see is that she bakes yummy treats and creates fun crafts with them more than I ever have with my two.

One of them worries about her son's eating and sleeping.  And yet she's managed to make something by hand for every baby she knows that was born in 2013.

One of them has just moved house and I cannot believe the speed at which she and her husband have tweaked the decoration to be just to their liking.  (Also, I'm jealous of her table-setting arrangements, it's a gift, I swear!)

One of them is a babywearer; I (and my back) salute her.  She gets herself and her two girls out of the house every day (weather permitting).

There are more examples.  Examples of how doing what comes naturally is creating a beautiful lives for them and their children.  Of choosing the best thing for them, at that time and place.

That's the positives.  So here comes the balance.  My confessions.

• I love to cook, especially savoury food but in some seasons, the idea of deciding what to feed my family every night wears on me.  And the children have chicken nuggets again.
• I don't see the point of children's crafts.  It seems like a waste of materials to me.  So I also can't throw away anything that the children have made.
• I don't clean.  I vacuum only when the carpet is crunchy.  I recently cleaned my sink for the first time in months.  I wiped down some mirrors about a month ago and was astonished at how clear the reflections could be.
• I don't exercise.  Really, honestly.  I walk around at work, I push a buggy around the shops and I occasionally go swimming with my family.  But I live in a village so I jump in the car for almost every trip we make, including taking my son to pre-school.
• I have piles of organised chaos all over my house and garage.  They never quite make it all the way to wherever it is that they are supposed to be going.
• I wash our clothes when we start running out of things to wear.  And then take 3 days to get things folded and another day to actually put them back into drawers.

I could go on.  And on.  And on.

The reality is that I cannot do everything and that actually I don't want to.  So I choose the essentials (for example getting carbs, protein and vegetables into my children, having clean clothes to put on them most days) and the things that make my heart sing (taking photos, documenting our lives, reading, laughing with my children, sitting quietly with my husband) and I try my hardest to let the rest of it go.  That's the limit of my abilities right now.  And every single person I know is doing exactly the same.

Supermum doesn't exist.  She's a myth.  She has no special powers or abilities.  She's a mirage.

Reality is a lot more reassuring.  Supermum is me and you and your friend next door and your work colleague and your sister.  She loves her children and tries her best.  At the end of the day, that's all anyone could or should ask.

On New Year's Eve

Some traditions are intentional while others just evolve over time until it's natural that they occur when they do.  Our New Year's Eve celebrations are the latter; it only occurred to me this year that we have one at all.

Early on in our relationship, I had some major medical school exams in the first week of January and was studying hard.  Instead of heading out on the town or getting drunk with friends, we stayed home in my student house and ate dinner together.  I know, we were rock and roll back then.

This year, I'm heavily pregnant, we have 2 small children and we had just got back from our time away.  We needed to get the children back into their normal routines and organising a babysitter seemed like more trouble than it was worth.  Instead, we had our usual quiet evening at home.  We bought ready-prepared food from Mark & Spencers (real food that you just have to chuck in the oven for the prescribed time? Yes please!) and settled down with the Homeland season 3 finale.  I had a 'mocktail' and Andy had a glass of wine.  We were in bed by 11pm and fast asleep for the New Year.  Which was fortunate given that the children were awake, as usual, at 7am.

Life changes when you have children.  Your priorities shift and you have to streamline activities to those that really do bring value to your life.  And for me, a quiet evening with good food, good tv and a good man is the perfect way to end the year.