Wednesday 27 June 2012

On there being two of them


Dear Louise, (a new mummy again)

The second one is easier; you know what to expect. You'll slip back into feeding, night waking and carrying a carseat like it was just yesterday. You already love Isaac so much, it's like he stretched your heart in preparation for Anna to fit right in. You'll worry less about her because it was so straightforward with him; you know you'll be ok in the end.

The second one is harder; balancing the needs of two children and yourself.  If you make it to the end of the day with both children alive and fed, sometimes that will be a good day.  And sometimes you'll need to aim higher than that, to satisfy yourself that you can still achieve something.  Just make it a short to-do list, three things is more than enough!  The only times you'll really struggle is when they both cry at once.  The answer is usually to just sit on the floor, cuddle your babies and have a little cry yourself.  Then pick yourselves up and get on with the day.

But you'll learn; how to pick up a toddler but not drop a baby, how to make the most of the quiet moments while the other one sleeps, how to prioritise yourself and your needs over the housework, how to be patient and even-tempered, how to take a deep breath and count to ten.

And it's not as hard as you're worried it will be.  And you'll be ready for the next one sooner than you think.

Love always, Louise (mummy to two for nearly 8 months)

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